Choosing to suffer alone, putting on the mask!

I look to my left and my right I get blank stares

My words carries no weight so doubt starts to flourish where passion once enfolded

I look in the mirror I no longer see me

I no longer see the person I love

I see a person that’s struggling to keep head above water for one purpose and one purpose only

I choose to suffer inside and put my mask back on

The art I’ve mastered way before time of diagnosis

Master of masking pain, loneliness, depression anxious no self worth, no will power no will to live just the will of existing to be in existence for one purpose and one purpose only

It’s better to suffer in the inside exposing your vulnerability isn’t safe

You don’t know what the other is plotting against you to use against you to claim what you love your only reason of existing

Masking has been my protector and taking the mask off is risky business not knowing what the other planning to use to strike you

Masking isn’t healthy but that’s your only true friend

Masking isn’t healthy that’s your only way to see others true intentions

Masking is what’s accepted from your surrounding

Your true exposure is not what’s trending

Your mask get you validated “she’s doing better”

The mask makes the world see you as “normal”

Masking gets you browny points for acceptance from your surrounding

Masking define you as positive vibes “she conquers everything” “she doesn’t let anything get in her way” the validation you need comes from masking your whole being. Choosing to suffer alone is acceptable and masking gets you approval. The reality of living with Mental Health Disorder.

My Mental Memoirs

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