An Apology To My Children

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An apology to my children 

When does healing begins 

When forgive yourself but it also begins when you say “I’m so sorry” I love you to your children.

I feel like I’ve aged and didn’t developed into the woman or the mother that I needed to be for my children.

It begins with me. Mommy-ness doesn’t come with a manual but I did my best.

When you make choices that constantly take you back to what destroys your childhood. You’re not at your best self. 

You can give your best to the ones you love. For that I’m sorry.

You do the work of foreignness of the people that hurts you.

The most important work is forgiving yourself. I thought I forgave myself, but the pain still with me. For that, I’m sorry.

The guilt of watching your children and doing your best to make them happy. You try to provide a sense of normalcy in their lives. You want to protect them, protect them from life. You do your best to provide a happy and safe surrounding. But you don’t always. For that i’m sorry.  

I feel like I’ve failed my children but this time I feel like I’ve failed them even more. For that I’m sorry.

I want to apologize to my children for repeating the cycle all over again. I don’t want them to continue to have that pattern in their lives. I’m doing my best. I’m sorry. 

My Mental Memoirs

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