Dear Diary: I had a really bad mental breakdown today!

Dear Diary:

I had a really bad mental breakdown today. Ok I had really bad mental breakdown today I knew it was coming because the past week I’ve been oversleep late not showing for my appointments because I overslept couldn’t get out of bed.

I haven’t been able to focus on my workouts or anything else. I’ve been feeling weak and lacking energy. So I need to beat this crap and push me tomorrow I may break down a little just don’t give up on me please

Conflicting feeling and confusion and reasoning on hopes and lies and confusion from his friends that took advantage of my vulnerability,  continue to overwhelmed my mind.

I tried to think positive, I tried to push those those out of my head. They reside around all day long, I can’t run away from it.  I use to be able to say I love as my friend but for the past years it has been impossible to continue to feel like. Even sometimes I can’t stand the site of being present.

When I hear people talking about related topics. I feel so guilty, but I just don’t feel anything.  I don’t even have feelings when I look at another. I only feel love for my children.

I knew it was going to happen, the breakdown that is. I’ve been fighting it and suppress it so much. I have been under extreme stress I really have been trying. But it’s never good enough. No matter what I do, it’s never good enough. So what’s the point of trying!!

P.S. Hopeless & Loveless, Me!

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