Following up from yesterday. I suddenly, unexpectedly, became sad. That’s part of mental illness. Sometimes, you don’t need a trigger, it just happens. The brain, the chemicals does what it does.
I told my children I’m not feeling well, that was to my teenage boys. I asked for help, I asked them to take my daughter for a little while. My little energizer bunny toddler.
In the meantime, I’m brainstorming how to get that good feeling that I’ve had all week. I want it back! That’s right! people who suffers from mental illness, love life, enjoy life and love to be happy, “Surprise”!!
I stil have to be a mom, a wife. The show doesn’t stop because you’re not well. Unfortunately, for those of us that have minor children, we don’t get to tuck the pillow and let it pass. Not when you can’t afford to order take out and have to pick your children up from school.
I prayed to Jehovah God, I don’t expect God to make a miracle. But prayer is an important outlet for me and remind me that God doesn’t expect me to be superwoman. I left my daughter with my oldest, while I picked my son from school. We stopped by the store and picked up hotdog, buns and condiments. To top it all, I picked each one of their favorite snack for dinner.
When I arrived home, I laid down a little and let myself go. A couple of hours later I felt a little better, but not strong enough.
Today, I proceeded with my usual activities. I woke at 5am to attend 5:45am bootcamp. Had my coffee on the way home. When I got home I took a hot shower and took my medications.
Here’s where I flipped the script. When my daughter woke up, I got her ready for the day. I made her breakfast and went in the living room. Opened all the blinds just like I like it.
I put chicken legs in the crockpot for dinner with curry seasoning and made white rice. I stayed in the living room and spend time with my daughter while dinner is cooking. Read some scriptures and reflect on God has been there for me, especially when my back was against the wall and had no way out.
I changed my scenery, I normally don’t stay in bed. But, I started to do that, a little to much I think. So, I feel better today, creating a scene where it’s more open and lighter where I can see the birds outside my window.
The point is, doing something different by exposing myself to light, and more space helped to provide this comfort and stimulate my mind. Actually, research have found that exposure to light therapy helps people with mental illness with their sleep. As well as perform better at work when they are expose to natural light in the building they work.
I don’t know if this going to work everyday. But this is my tip to you my fellow travelers. So, I start with positive thoughts, in a good place and plan to keep that positive vibe going. I don’t plan to allow anyone to enter my happy place today. One day at a time.